On my walk today.
9:45 AM. How does restlessness relates to solitude? I have the day ahead of me, free to do whatever I so desire, all solitude. But here I am, restless, my mind and body all over the place. Should I take a walk? Go to Starbucks? Read a book? Write the blog? Visit a friend? Put in a load of laundry? On it goes; up and down I bob (yes, bob for Bobbi). Decision made. I’m hungry for fried eggs and an English muffin, so I’m heading down to the kitchen right now.
12 Noon. I satisfied my appetite, which is always most ravenous in the morning a hour after I’ve eaten my oatmeal. And now I just finished what I call a meditation nap; I nod off for a bit and when I come back to consciousness, my mind is settled with gentle thoughts. Today I drifted off to my cottage by the sea for calm and comfort. At home I am full of “shoulds”, which mainly feel like obligations, such as, “Should I visit a friend who doesn’t get out much?” I just can’t get into that “on vacation” mood that I embrace at the cottage. Um, nothing new there! Next decision: read.
2:30 PM. I read (Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy) for an hour, did some laundry, and prepared a salad for supper tonight. I’m feeling less restless and am very glad that I didn’t succumb to Starbucks. The Desert Fathers tell us, “Stay in your cell, for your cell will tell you everything you need to know.” Well I don’t know everything, but I do know that paying attention to restlessness helps me get through it. The Dessert Fathers also wandered about the dessert, so right now I’m going to wander around the neighborhood. I’d prefer a walk on the beach, but I’m not at the cottage.
4:00 PM. The walk revived me. Nothing like a pilgrimage around the block to still the restlessness while at the same time, keeping me in solitude. One insight to ponder: I love when I don’t have any obligations. I know, I know, that’s not practical or sensible, but I bet there’s something in admitting that most of us have too many obligations.
Tomorrow is a day filled with good obligations.
12 Noon. I satisfied my appetite, which is always most ravenous in the morning a hour after I’ve eaten my oatmeal. And now I just finished what I call a meditation nap; I nod off for a bit and when I come back to consciousness, my mind is settled with gentle thoughts. Today I drifted off to my cottage by the sea for calm and comfort. At home I am full of “shoulds”, which mainly feel like obligations, such as, “Should I visit a friend who doesn’t get out much?” I just can’t get into that “on vacation” mood that I embrace at the cottage. Um, nothing new there! Next decision: read.
2:30 PM. I read (Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy) for an hour, did some laundry, and prepared a salad for supper tonight. I’m feeling less restless and am very glad that I didn’t succumb to Starbucks. The Desert Fathers tell us, “Stay in your cell, for your cell will tell you everything you need to know.” Well I don’t know everything, but I do know that paying attention to restlessness helps me get through it. The Dessert Fathers also wandered about the dessert, so right now I’m going to wander around the neighborhood. I’d prefer a walk on the beach, but I’m not at the cottage.
4:00 PM. The walk revived me. Nothing like a pilgrimage around the block to still the restlessness while at the same time, keeping me in solitude. One insight to ponder: I love when I don’t have any obligations. I know, I know, that’s not practical or sensible, but I bet there’s something in admitting that most of us have too many obligations.
Tomorrow is a day filled with good obligations.