Blog Archives - A Cottage by the Sea

Seeking gratitude throughout the day~

7/30/2016

     If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you know how essential gratitude is to me. I learned it from my mom, who led her life giving thanks, and whose last words were ‘Very Grateful’. Thus the title of my book: Very Grateful: The Story of My Hundred Year Old Mother and Me.
     I continue to try to keep gratitude front and center in my life. For at least five years my husband and I have been naming a gratitude at the beginning of the day. Recently we decided to mentioned two: one personal, the other for the wider world. For example, this morning his personal gratitude was for the effect of the cooling weather on our grass; mine, that I was home after a lovely trip to Bushkill Falls with the family. On the wider world arena, he was grateful for lack of violence at the political conventions, noting it was a sign of hope; mine that a friend was being cared for at a loving nursing home.
     When I take time for silence, solitude and simplicity, gratitude seems to occur not only in the morning, but throughout the day.

Calm at Bushkill Falls~

7/29/2016

Silence, solitude and simplicity with the family at Bushkill Falls, Pennsylvania. The falls, forest and walkways are not inherently simple, but for those of us taking the two hour walk, we felt calm and energized.

Vacation from purging~

7/26/2016

We’re getting read for a three day vacation from purging. Tomorrow we head for the Poconos for a family vacation. Sixteen of us hiking around the Bushkill Falls and having a cookout. We need community in order to experience silence, solitude and simplicity; this feels like the perfect balance.

Out! Out! Out!

7/22/2016

I’m finally accepting my older sister’s excellent way of simplifying: Out! Out! Out! She has always been a minimalist: growing up her room was immaculate, mine with piles of stuff all over the place. One of us would not be alive today if growing up we had had to share a room.
My husband and I finally joining her minimalist club. Here’s how we’re doing it. As we go through stuff we pretend we are moving. Our only question: Would we take it? We don’t ask subjective ones such as: Do we want it, like it, need it? Nor do we ask nostalgia questions. Of course, want, like, need and nostalgia become part our ‘would we take it’ response, but lots of stuff is going Out! Out! Out!

Hope~

7/18/2016

With all the shootings, killings and suicide attacks going on in the world, solitude becomes hard to grasp. Much of the time it can’t be observed on the outside, making it more essential that we feel it on the inside. Turning off the TV can help keep positive energy flowing into the universe, but it can also be a way of putting on blinders to keep out what we don’t want to deal with. Where’s the balance? We have to find our own.
Because I am an optimist and see the cup half full, I accept as true that I am to use my solitude to send out positive possibilities. If I don’t hold onto my believe that good wins over bad and love over evil, I have no hope. That’s my message.

Solitude is not loneliness~

7/15/2016

     After a few busy weeks socializing, I offer some thoughts on solitude. I loved being with family and friends, as well as the scattered times of solitude. As you know, I treasure large doses alone time, as obvious from the joy and peace I feel in traveling by myself. My husband is the same, although he is most happy tending his garden at home. My extraverted friends need others to energize them. Each of us requires different amounts solitude and socializing; we are healthy we get the amount we need.
     My thoughts today, however, are with those who can’t stand to be alone at all. I’m not talking about solitude but about loneliness, about lack of life purpose, all under the umbrella on which is written, “Life has no meaning for me.” It is hard to know how to help these people. It does not good to tell them to ‘get a life’ or ‘just get over it.’ Doing something with them can help, but not if it is only filling up the time for them. Leading them to help—psychological, physical and spiritual is a worthy step.
     There’s no one right way to support these people who are afraid to be alone, but for me a few ideas come to mind under the do-no-harm rubric. Listen, listen, listen; be positive in your own life, both in thought, word and deed; send positive energy, which for me is prayer.

Purging books for simplicity's sake~

7/12/2016

     My husband and I are in the midst of a major purge of stuff. It started when our grandpet had a series of accidents on our wall-to-wall upstairs carpet; that led to the shameful confession that couldn’t remember when it was installed because it was so long ago--at lease twenty years, maybe thirty. It is time to get rid of the rug and think about hardwood floors.
     This has ended up primarily being a book purge; many New Age—past lives, astrology, ‘para’ this and that. Just the thing for someone at the put-and-take. Fewer books means fewer shelves; so far we’ve emptied four.
     I’ve been writing about simplicity on this blog for close to seven years. Passing these books on to interested readers opens up simplicity on many levels. When we decide to move, we will have already done some downsizing. If we stay here forever, it will be a BIG help to our kids. In letting go of all those ‘para’ books, I have released all obligations to pursue such topics. Simplicity on the material, physical plane; simplicity on the psychological, spiritual plane.

Solitude and pets~

7/8/2016

I’ve written about this before but whenever we take care of our grandpet, the disconnect between solitude and pets come to mind again. Let me start by saying that I’m not against having a pet; in fact I love dogs and cats, and have had both. But pets and solitude don’t mix well because we always have to respond to our pet. Even when Scuppers was asleep, I would wake up wondering when she’s going to arise to ask for instant breakfast As cute as she is, she always wants to sit on my lap when I meditate. And on this visit, she ate something that didn’t agree with her. Need I say more?
Solitude is the time we choose to be companion free; at best, pets are companions.

Summer gratitudes~

7/6/2016

A quiet day. The visiting family has taken the T to Boston, to the Kennedy Library and Faneuil Hall. It is the hottest day of the season, but there is a breeze. I’m very grateful for the family that is here and for the family not here; for the humid weather that is part of the seasons of New England; for our grandpet; for the solitude that is never lonely.

No more 'buts'~

7/3/2016

“So much has been given to me; I have no time to ponder over that
which has been denied.”
I’ve been pondering these words of Helen Keller ever since receiving them from www.gratefulness.org on the eve of Independence Day. No way should I complain about little denials, and yet how easy it is to slip into my language.
• It’s a beautiful day…but I wish it weren’t so windy.
• The hamburgers were cooked just the way I like them…but I don’t like a toasted bun.
• I like the color of my dress …but I wish it had a fuller skirt.

I could go on and on making these up; they are engrained in the way I think, and, unfortunately in my speech. But that’s no excuse. I can learn to stop before I say but. If Helen Keller has not time to ponder over what has been denied her, certainly so do I.