Blog Archives - A Cottage by the Sea

Gratitude...pass it on~

3/31/2016

Last day of March, my grandmother’s birthday. Born in 1885, Mimi, my mom’s mother, would be 131. I wonder if someone will live to that age. Maybe, if we don’t destroy ourselves before then. There’s so much hate going on—politics in this country, and beyond. Do I speak up? What do I say? What do I do?
Right now my best answer is to stay calm and loving and lead the most caring, honest life I can. Right now that means not judging; if I can’t feel positive, than at least I can BE QUIET. Right now that means following my bliss and going to Florence and being a peaceful presence there. I’m off on Sunday.
Right now that means starting and ending the day with gratitude, something my grandmother taught my mom, who passed it on to me.

Getting through March~

3/29/2016

We’re getting through March. Not that it’s been a brutal one weather-wise, but as is its nature, it has been a long one. No out-like-a-lion in the forecast, which bodes well for an in-like-a-lamb. However, it looks like I’ll be experiencing rain during my first days in Florence, with temperatures in the low 70s. I’ll plan my time accordingly. In general, rain means museums, sun equals walks. But I can be flexible, singing in the rain and looking in the sun.
As you might gather, the week leading up to my trip is almost as good as being there. Whatever your bliss might be at the moment, I encourage you to seize it and starting living into it.

Writing as expression of purpose~

3/26/2016

    I’m back across the street to the library most mornings, sitting in the front room of the historic section, and writing. It’s the same room where I worked on Very Grateful, and am now crafting the first draft of an article that for now I’ve entitled, ‘Seven Days Walking in Florence.’
    It is hard to express how energized I feel, but if you’ve every had a project that spot on expresses who you are, you’ll understand what I’m getting at. What could be better than the prospect of walking around Florence and writing about it? I’m in the zone, which gets me thinking, once again, how essential it is for our well being that we feel purposeful in our life. For many of us (maybe everyone), this purpose is something we hold all by ourselves, something we feel is unique to us. For me, it is writing, not just the thought of writing, but having an actual project that, while giving me meaning, also has the possibility of encouraging meaning in others.
    This writing project has a ready available audience. How many of you would love to walk around Florence? Many, many, many. Help is on the way; you just have to get there. But, if that isn’t a realistic possibility, how about being an armchair traveler.

Writing in Florence...soon~

3/23/2016

The good news, no, the great news, is that I am off to Florence April 3-14. I had considered going right after Easter but too many plans at home told me it wasn’t a good time. But then life and the calendar cleared up, and so I made my reservations. While I’m excited at the opportunity of wandering around my favorite city again, my husband is equally excited at the prospect of gardening and directing the installation of a new septic system. Hey, follow you bliss, we say at our house.
On this upcoming visit, I am planning to write an article—working title: Seven Days Walking in Florence. It will include seven specific walks around the city, perhaps including museums, churches, gardens, living history along the streets, vistas and of course my favorite eating places. Since I’ll be traveling alone, I’ll also include comfortable places to write. My hope, however, it that the article will be useful for those traveling solo or in companionship.
Very grateful is what I have to say.

Staying out of organization~

3/21/2016

     I've decided to stop watching most of the news. I was into it, like it was a soap opera. I know where I stand with the candidates and since I’ve chosen not to work proactively for the candidate of my choice, I can’t see the sense in wallowing in the current licentious details of this election year. All that does is bring out the judgmental, arrogant, privileged me, which is the very part I so long to eliminate.
    When I retired from teaching in 1996 I promised myself that I would ‘stay out of organization.’ I couldn’t articulate well what that phrase meant but I knew, and continue to know, when I am not following that promise. I know because I don’t like who I am—that judgmental, arrogant, privileged me.
     So, once again I am committing to ‘staying out of organization.’ Besides a more positive frame of mind, think of all the personal time I’ll have to read, walk, meditate, listen to music and even do a jigsaw puzzle. And what’s more, after taking a hiatus after publishing “Very Grateful”, a new writing project is brewing inside me, which as you know will require all the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual time I can garner. A much better choice for me.

Many best friends~

3/18/2016

A best friend. There’s an implication that we only have one, but really don’t we have many? My official best friend and I have know each other since we were two. How lucky is that? Very. She is my best friend.
     However, I also have many best friends: my husband, kids and grandkids, siblings, teacher friends, divinity and church friends, new friends, long-time friends, and even friends with whom I only chat at the supermarket. We all have different histories together and offer one another our best unique something. Some of these best friend are ones I don’t see often but when we get together we pick up easily, getting right to our special best friend topic.
     I have a several best friends who have never been involved in my every day life. We haven’t met each other’s family or visited each other's home; in many cases our life style, background, current experiences, age, ethnicity, faith tradition, you name it, are different. Very likely we met by chance, perhaps at a conference, while traveling, or on the internet, but regardless, in an instant we connected soul to soul. We are most trustworthy in keeping each other's secrets, because just think about it, who would we tell?
     You readers on this blog are another kind of best friend for me, and perhaps I am for you. I know a few of you, but not many. I tell you things I might not tell other best friends. I put something out there for you to choose to listen or not, read or delete. Although public, the friendship feels safe. Thanks.

A quiet spring walk in the mist~

3/15/2016

Spring walk in New England. I waited all day for the rain to stop and finally I just pretended it had. Out I went in the quiet mist. Solitude at its best.

Dementia isn't the only story

3/14/2016

It’s been a week since my last post. Since I try to post every other day, what’s with this mini gap? It is not due to lack of silence, solitude or simplicity in my life, but perhaps because lately I’ve had a comfortable mixture of activity and the 3Ss. In other words, time to BE, which for me means time when I don’t have to DO or THINK, and time to DO, which means time with others.
Sometimes I can’t believe how content I am in doing, or, shall I say being, nothing. In part, it is an age thing. Like any # 3 on the Enneagram, I have DONE stuff in my life. Now the challenge is to be. (Search Enneagram and learn about yourself, what number you are.)
Saturday, however, was not a being day. I attended a United Church of Christ Super Saturday event in Connecticut. One workshop was about dementia. As the leader went through the stages of dementia (in which a person a person lives backward to infancy), I was reminded of many incidents and situations with my mother toward the end of her life. I was surprised, and pleased that my siblings and I didn’t think of Mom in terms of dementia. We accompanied her in letting go, enjoying the way she was at the present moment. Dementia isn't the only story.

The strong are gentle

3/8/2016

Beautiful day, warm weather keeps coming. Great for us in the present moment, but not so wonderful for everyone down the road. What to do—besides hang laundry out to dry and NOT buy bottled water? It is not enough to say that we recycle.
Here’s another thought, perhaps related. I recently read something to the effect that the strong are gentle (attributed to James Dean). We who lead our lives in our neighborhoods can more easily be gentle and yet strong, but what about those out there creating and carrying out public policy? Much more complicated. And yet some do offer a gentle demeanor. I have my list, you have yours; I’m sure we have some of the same names.
I’m thinking, however, in order to lead a gentle but strong life we require times of solitude, if for no other reason than we need to remember to be gentle, remember not to say the first thing that comes to mind, remember that a gentle word is kind, strong and powerful-- as in loving.

Annie and the sun coming out

3/5/2016

We attended the production of “Annie” at our grandson’s high school. Colin was the drummer in the orchestra. Fabulous job by all and of course, every song is a winner. It is always good to be reminded that the sun will come out tomorrow, and that when were stuck with a gray day, we need stick out our chin and catch the sun.

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck in a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may