Category: Silence - A Cottage by the Sea

'Lucy by the Sea'-- her silence

1/21/2023

I want to recommend Lucy by the Sea, by Elizabeth Strout, the fourth book in a series about Lucy (and William). That being noted, you don’t have to read the first three in order to immerse yourself in this one. Lucy by the Sea is a stand-alone, par excellence. Everyone, and I mean everyone, will relate to the context—lockdown during Covid.
There are many approaches to this book, many themes. I was most touched by a universal message at the core of each of Lucy’s encounters with others. People want to be heard: Lucy keeps it simple, responding with some form of, ’I know.’ People don’t want advice unless they ask for it: Lucy doesn’t offer any.
This book, however, is not filled with silence. We hear Lucy’s thoughts; her conversation with Self, unfiltered and honest.

Silent retreat in Cambridge

12/6/2022

This Thursday I will drive into Cambridge for a three night, four day silent retreat at the monastery of Saint John the Evangelist (SSJE). Along with a room with a bed, desk and easy chair, the guest quarters include a communal kitchen where I can get breakfast and snacks throughout the day, public rooms for reading and mediating, and a lovely garden. Together with the other guests, I will join the brothers for silent lunch and dinner, as well as attend the daily office (5 of them) with them.
Silent retreat, yes silent. None of the guests will expect to talk with me, nor I with them. Although SSJE is a Christian (Episcopal) order, there is no formal expectation that the guests be Christian. Most, like me, are trying to follow Jesus; everyone is trying to love. After all, if I were not wanting and trying to be loving, why would ever sign up for four days of silence?

The challenge to keep silent

11/12/2022

I must admit that the commitment I made a couple of days ago to keep silence has been more of a challenge than I thought it would be. The talk in my mind is reasonably silent, but my out loud talk… when there’s an audience…, it has not been silent! I’ve stepped into the conversation with out realizing it. And, that is my challenge: to realize and be quiet.
And yet, yesterday at breakfast with a group of like-minded friends, no one brought up the election. No rehash. We talked about books, Thanksgiving plans, and friendships. My best self left these friends feeling comforted and safe.

Silence as a virtue

8/25/2022

I love this from Writings from the Philokalia on Prayer of the Heart, a collection of writing by the Fathers of the Eastern Church dating from the fourth to the fourteenth century.
   “Among other virtues, Abba Philemon had also the following: he could not bear other an idle word; if someone, forgetting himself, began to tell of something not concerned with profit to the soul, he never showed any response.”
   Of course, at social gatherings there is much conversation. We get together to share stories, to catch up on the news, to make future plans. But even when conversation is the expectation, idle words can take over. We can go on and on and on too long. We might like to hear a couple of well-chosen comments, but not an audio book about some life event.
   Recently I was on the receiving end of one of those long stories. The story was interesting, but the timing was off. We were gathered at the end of a presentation; niceties were appropriate before we all went on our way. I may have been rude, but I followed Abba Philemon’s advice and ‘never showed any response.’

Mr. Rogers offers silence

6/19/2022

I talk about silence often. Hmm, talking is hardly silent. When nothing is coming out of my mouth, my mind is hardly silent. But hearing no sound is a beautiful silence. Mr. Roger knew about that.
In the commencement address he gave at Dartmouth College in 2002 he included a minute of silence so the audience could remember and give thanks to people who had influence them in a positive way. In his acceptance speech for the Lifetime Achievement Award he received at the Emmys in 1997, he offered ten seconds of silence. It is said that that was enough time to humble everyone in the audience and bring them to tears.

Alone and silent among the icons

2/2/2019

I posted the following on ‘A Solitary Traveler,’ but I want to say a little more about the silence and solitude I experienced. Being the only person among the second floor icons was awesome. If I had come with a friend, that wouldn’t have happened; silence and solitude would have been compromised.
I understand that not everyone desires to travel alone the way I do, but if you long for silence, solitude, and simplicity, I suggest that you spend a morning by yourself at a museum. You may not have the floor to yourself, but you can wander about silently in your own little world.

Today I took a solitary trip to the Museum of Russian Icons, in Clinton, eighteen miles and thirty-five minutes from my house. I had planned to take pictures, but upon arriving I discovered I had left my phone at home. What good news that turned out to be; no distractions. I was free to look. And since I was alone, it was just me and the icons.
More good news: I had the entire second floor of the museum to myself for the entire visit.

Working towards silence~

10/29/2018

House by the road is the best we could come up with. It works well enough and now that the Red Sox are World Champions we can settle into a quieter life. I am a little concerned, however, that the mid-terms will conflict with the silence. On the other hand, I am pretty certain that the world needs silence more than noise right now.

Silence

9/22/2018

In my next to last morning in Florence I found silence at Fiesole, a hillside town overlooking the city. First, I found silence in the park on the way to the Monastery of San Francesco.

In my next to last morning in Florence I found silence at Fiesole, a hillside town overlooking the city. First, I found silence in the park on the way to the Monastery of San Francesco.

At the top of the hill I found silence in the cloisters and monk’s cells.

And finally, silence in the cemetery on the way down the hill to the town center and bus back to Florence.

Does it takes a trip far away to realize that there’s no place like home for silence?

The silence of truth telling

6/11/2018

I’m trying to make sense of what it looks like to be silent in a politically noisy world. There is, of course, physical silence which we all love from time to time, and then there is the chatter in our heads that is not silent. But today I’m thinking about the silence of truth telling. Hmm, maybe I made that up, maybe I stretching too far, but when I think of silence as something peaceful, lies seem to generate noise. Words of truth, on the other hand, offer a peaceful silence even when said out loud.

Too much noise~

8/25/2016

Do you remember the childhood story of the farmer who claimed his kids were making too much noise in the farmhouse. To solve this problem, he was told to bring all the barnyard animals into the house, which of course made it more noisy than ever. Then he was told to take each animal out of the house, one by one, and send them back to the barn. With that task completed, the farmer sat back in his rocking chair and enjoyed the peace and quiet of his many children.
I was reminded to this story when a friend told me about house sitting for a neighbor’s cat. She doesn’t mind helping out, and admits that the cat is easy. Nevertheless, when it’s time for the cat to go home, my friend experiences silence, solitude and simplicity with renewed intensity. I feel the same way after grandpet sitting or when company leaves. Then things settle back to normal and I’m ready for action again.