Category: Solitude

A rare gift of solitude

7/13/2024

The five winters I spent alone in my rented cottage by the sea was the most intense solitude I have ever experienced. All week, alone in the house, day after day, knowing that no one would knock at the door, no one would talk to me during my walks on the beach. I didn't know a soul up there in York, Maine, and I made NO effort to meet anyone.
I miss those cottage by the sea days, those years. I miss my daily routine of watching the sunrise and walking on the beach. And yet, they were never meant to be held onto, never to be repeated, never to be extended.
Almost a decade has passed since I experienced this gift of solitude, this rare treasure of time alone. I still have plenty of solitude, but people are around. It's not the same, but memories abound and I have over a thousand photos.

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Solitude on a rare day in June

6/3/2024

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I've come out to sit in the yard and enjoy this  beautiful rare day in  June.  As I put my chair down in a shady place on the lawn, my eye caught  our resident fox making his way through the fence. After noting that animals don't impose on solitude the way humans do, I took a few deep breaths, offered a prayer of gratitude, and began to write about the little talk I had with my selves this morning.
      The Selves had told me that I was spending too much mental energy making decisions and plans, and then rushing about accomplishing this and that, OR, not accomplishing this and that. My hyper self had geared itself into high gear, and now it was time to shift to a slow trot, at least time enough to enjoy the flowers.
      Next The Selves game me a couple of suggestions: 1.When you start perseverating on plans, stop and say RELEASE (which I've done). 2. CANCELL some of those plans (which I did). 3. Give yourself chunks of time to do what you long to do (which I'm doing right now).
      I'm writing this blog: A blog for those who are looking for silence, solitude and simplicity, and who sometimes want to be alone. No wonder I wasn't writing! I wasn't giving myself time alone.

P.S.  I just looked up the hill and saw an animal sitting on the window frame of a 60 year old dilapidated horse stall in the woods. Was it our resident possum? I walked closer but before I could take a picture, it scurried away. Maybe, along with flowers, The Selves are telling me to enjoy animals.

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New ways to think about solitude

4/24/2024

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New ways of thinking about solitude! Now that my daughter and her husband have been living with us for a while, my thoughts about solitary living have shifted, and I like to think, deepened. Before last December 7th, our solitary life was a certain way--just the two of us. Some aspects we had consciously crafted, other had just evolved; we were content. Now, four months later, we still have that solitary life, although it includes less alone time throughout the house and throughout the day. And yet, it is enough. But more than that, this solitude has become precious, not taken for granted, a state of mind, more than a physical existence.

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Resonating with "Look for Me There; Grieving My Father, Finding Myself," by Luke Russert

7/21/2023

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This is posted on several of A Cottage by the Sea blog  topics. It seems to speak to all of them.

I'm loving  Look for Me There; Grieving My Father, Finding Myself, Luke Russert's memoir about his recent  solitary travels around the world, taken to come to terms with the sudden death of his beloved father, Tim Russert (anchor of NBC's Meet the Press) and to more forward with his own life.  It took Luke eight years after his fathers fatal heart attack to garner the awareness that he needed time to grieve, and, the courage set out on his own and face the future.
     I love this book because I resonate with Luke's solitary travel. I am reading it with  satisfaction that although I have embraced traveling alone, my reasons for doing so are not the same as Luke's. I started traveling alone as a pioneer of junior year abroad programs--no cell phone, and complicated telephoning possibilities. Writing letters was the way my family and I communicated, and as you might imagine, those letters, at best, passed in the air every three or so weeks. I was on my own, figuring out how to get from Paris to the place I was staying in Rome before heading to Florence.
     Worrying was not a part of growing up in the fifties; my parents weren't worried about the year-long adventure I was taking, nor was I. At am early age, still in my teens, I learned to figure things out. I can still do that, and without worry. As an older person, what a beautiful way to feel, a beautiful reason to keep traveling.

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Little animal solitude

6/17/2023

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There is something comforting about have little woodland animals around. I'd like to call them varmints but that implies troublesome, and these are not a bother unless I want to object to rabbits chewing some plants. The same could be said of the deer that occasionally stop by, although we haven't seen them lately. Currently a fox makes a 5:30AM trek across our yard (no picture yet). And, I saw him a few roads away on my 12:30 PM walk today. Then there are the squirrels who, when they can't figure out how to jump up onto our bird feeder, are satisfied with the pumpkin they found around the place. The chipmunks are way too busy to stop for anything.All these little friends bring just the right kind of life to the solitude of our back yard.

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Everyone needs solitude

5/16/2023

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I used think that those of us who admitted a longing for solitude were in a separate, special category. Clearly some need more solitude than others, but we all need it. Today's news, yesterday's news, tomorrow's news catapults us all to find time alone so we can calm down, and sit in our sweet, quiet spot where hope resides.
One of my solitude spots is my Angel Room, where I write, read, and meditate. When I open my eyes I look out to a maple tree, which regardless of the season, offers tapping surfaces for woodpeckers and climbing branches for squirrels. Just the right amount hope when I sit in solitude.

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No solitude with a dog

4/19/2023

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My niece's dog, Auggie, spent five nights with us. We love Auggie. Who wouldn't love this independent, undemanding, compliant dog who never barks? Yes, we love Auggie but we don't want a dog. Dogs need to go out at least four times a day; they need to be with you all the time.
We love Auggie, but any dog, even a dog like Auggie, takes away solitude. Even when walking my usual daytime walk, I wasn't walking alone at my usual pace. I definitely wasn't alone during the first walk of the day at 5:30 AM. Nor was I alone in the Angel Room when we returned.
Just saying…. When I am with a dog I am not alone. Maybe that's not true for everyone, but worth considering before you get one.

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Solitary traveler going again

2/19/2023

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April 1 2022

This solitary traveler is ready to go again. I thought that maybe my Florence days were over, but no, I heard, “Go, follow your bliss, you can do it, you want to go.” I know this is right because, if it weren’t, I know that too. It’s the way I operate. I sit with what comes up; if it goes away, well, that’s the end of that. If it keeps speaking out, I ponder until the answer comes. If it is yes, I make the necessary plans; if it is no, I surrender and stop perseverating on it.
Here’s my plan: fly to Florence March 19th, return March 30. I have rented my most favorite apartment—best location ever, with a museum and church in very direction. Right down the street is La Badia, my peaceful go-to meditation church, and across the street I can count of the best cappuccino and brioche ever.

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Solitude in Santa Maria dei Fiori

12/15/2021

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To be inside the San Marie dei Fiori alone! A dream that came true yesterday. The line outside was short (unlike the long ones in the fall), and so I joined. After showing our ‘green pass’ and going through the scanner, about thirty of us were let in together. Then, as the people in my group began to leave, but before a new group entered, there I was, alone in this enormous cathedral.
It brought back one of the most vivid memories of my time here in 1959. It was here in this duomo that I was first aware of my desire for solitude.

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Solitude is not synonymous with sedentary

5/17/2021

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Solitude can be a challenge for ADHD type like me. I don’t/can’t sit still for long. Actually it’s only a challenge if I think I should sit still for a long time. As a kid I was sometimes told to sit still, or at least people comment on continual moving about, although they were always nice about it. Probably because I was a happy-go-lucky kid. I learned early that people are kinder to kids who smile. True for adults, too, but I think it’s harder for adults to catch onto that if they didn’t grow up acting happy. They have to work at it, that is if they are even aware of what they can get away with by smiling.
As a kid, even though I was social, I loved spending time by myself. Many memories, still vivid, are of playing alone in my room, or wandering in the woods checking out my forts. I was always on the move.
And so today, in my solitude, I move from post to post, from activity to activity. Solitude is not synonymous with sedentary.

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<<Previous

A rare gift of solitude

Solitude on a rare day in June

New ways to think about solitude

Resonating with "Look for Me There; Grieving My Father, Finding Myself," by Luke Russert

Little animal solitude

Everyone needs solitude

No solitude with a dog

Solitary traveler going again

Solitude in Santa Maria dei Fiori

Solitude is not synonymous with sedentary

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