Of course, not everyone wants the amount or kinds of silence and solitude that do. What resonates with each of us is very particular, and that’s is how it should be. The challenge is to create what we want and need in our lives. My current rhythm of home, solitary travel, home, week days at the cottage, and home didn’t just happen full bloom one day. It been an on-going process, continually morphing from who I was, am, and am becoming. As a child I was happy being by myself and playing with friends. I spent my junior year of college in Italy, learning to travel alone and live away from home (few young people, no internet). When our kids were growing up I carved time for myself in the early morning before anyone was up.
Recently I heard of a women who longs for just a few moments by herself--her husband has dementia and follows her around all the time. Clearly she doesn’t have the freedom that I have, but who would question that she doesn’t deserve a chunk of time each day that she can call her own. And there lies the rub. Although no one would question it, can she speak up for it? And how? It is easier on everyone if our desires appear subtly over time, rather than scream out in the midst of stressing situations. Hopefully this woman doesn’t need to scream, but for her well-being she must speak up. Perhaps she can look at her family patterns and find a way that will get her some time alone. From this side of the blog, I’m sending her encouragement.