A Cottage by the Sea - On My Mind

Powerful fall days

10/15/2020

Would anyone dispute that it is easier to be content with silence, solitude, and simplicity on a beautiful fall day? Science support that mood swings improve when the sun is out. But the goal, at least my goal, is to settle into deep contentment regardless of the weather. I can love ‘a’ rainy day if ‘a’ means one. But even then, a tiny pall sneaks in.

These days I am aware that whatever I write comes from a privileged position. That’s who I am, but it doesn’t mean I want to shake it off and go forth on my merry way. Let me never forget that I’m in a cozy house on a rainy day!!
Remembering is a both trivial and powerful. Trivial if I take if for granted; powerful if I find ways to be grateful.

Happy Birthday Debby

10/10/2020

We have been best friends since we were two years old. Very grateful that our moms got us together. Love you lots!

Hope in the younger generation

10/9/2020

Last week a friend and I visited a mutual teacher friend, now living in an assisted living facility. We had made an appointment on-line and were greeted by two women who took our temperature and asked those usual Covid questions. The older woman was a nurse, the younger, a nurse in training. Both were incredibly kind. The nurse helped the trainee with the procedure of asking the questions, and then the trainee wheeled our friend out to the tent, helped her get comfortable, and at the end of the visit facilitated our saying goodbye.
As I drove away I felt deeply hopeful because I had witnessed this compassionate, caring young person whose had opened her heart to my friend. This young woman has chosen caring for others as her vocation. Let us be ready for the younger generation to show us a loving way.

Another year being VERY GRATEFUL

10/4/2020

The other day a friend from my teaching days asked me about my journey to divinity school after I stopped teaching. We hadn’t been in close contact since I had retired from teaching kindergarten and first grade twenty-five years ago. Here’s my response.
     In 2004 I receive a Master of Divinity Degree (MDiv) from Andover Newton Theological School in Newton, Massachusetts. I loved every minute of it-- the professors, students, campus life, studies and writing papers. It was a vibrant place then. But the physical campus no longer exists. It is Andover Newton Seminary at Yale Divinity School in New Haven, Connecticut.
    After a satisfying career as a teacher, I had no interest in being ordained (being a pastor felt too much like being a school principal). Because I was pursuing the degree for my own discernment and spiritual growth, I was able to avoid courses on church administration, and, what I referred to as ’student teaching in a church.” Being 60 and having had a full career, I convinced the administration that I would never change my mind about ordination, so certain requirements were waved.
      In another life I might have gone into chaplaincy. I completed the chaplaincy requirement for the degree, but not for chaplaincy certification. Upon graduation I took a part time job as the ’spiritual care director' of Wayside Hospice in Wayland (now called Parmenter Community Health Care—Wayland). During my tenure I visited with families and ‘clients’ both at the hospice residence and in homes.
    I stopped that work in 2009. It was time. My mother was about to celebrate her 100thbirthday. She was my mom; I was her daughter. I didn’t want a spiritual care/chaplaincy relationship with her, although for sure, we talked about spiritual things.  As I wrote in my memoir, Very Grateful, God was always present with us, always, but especially in our last two years together .
     Mom died October 3, 2011, 9 years ago.

Simplicity or unity

10/2/2020

Silence, solitude, and simplicity are a satisfying threesome in my life.  But in The Signs of Jonas Thomas Merton mentions “solitude, silence and unity,” replacing simplicity with unity. Hmm, I like the idea of unity, but it can’t replace simplicity. It doesn’t resonate the same way; in fact, it is jarring; it disrupts the harmony, and yes, the unity that my three provide.
    To start with, I like the idea that the my three begin with the same letter. It satisfies my penchant for order, and more to the point, my need to be in control. The idea that unity begins with a vowel, and not the soft look and sound of the letter S changes my goal. It interrupts the flow of silence and solitude. It isn’t peaceful.
    Unity implies action, mental activity, physical change. The end result of unity is simple--but arriving there is complex.

Give Coursera a try

9/25/2020

I have become aware of the myriad ways that my friends are leading their lives during the pandemic. There is a similarity to our individual journeys—after all, we have much in common and our core-values are similar-- but we differ in the kind and amount of silence, solitude and simplicity in our lives--some is by choice, some by necessity.  For several of us, a full schedule and active life is what we have chosen and been given; for others, a quieter, simpler way of being. Regardless, there are two (I’m sure there are more) givens that run our lives these days: the pandemic and our deep desire for peace and well-being for everyone-- self, family, friends…humankind.
      I have chosen a path of silence, solitude and simplicity, at least in contrast to a busy, busy, busy existence of others. The news is pretty much turned off; I’m hearing less both audibly and mentally. I have, however, tuned into one of the many free on-line courses that are available. Currently I am listening and watching the Age of Cathedrals, by Yale professor, Howard Bloch.  I don’t have to zoom, interact, write a paper, although that could be an option.
      (A friend told me about www.corsera.org and I found it from there. Corsera will connect you with all kinds of courses from many universities.)

Another hiatus from the news

9/20/2020

Here’s a simple, and yet difficult way to keep simplicity in your life. Don’t turn on the news; don’t open the newspaper! When I do so, I have more time to follow the things that bring me peace.
     I know, I know, from time to time I tell you about taking another hiatus from the news. Let’s see how long I can keep this renewed habit going. Not to worry. I have enough contact out there in the world to keep me informed; my husband will shout out breaking news and a Face Book friend will post a headline.
      There is a great deal of buzz about FB. I’m not going to get into the politics/negativity of it all, but I want to mention one of its positive benefits. For me it is a way that I keep up with groups of friends: elementary and high school friends, family, church, teachers, to name a few. Some friends are part of my current everyday life, others are from the past Either way, I love keeping connected.
     One of my most rewarding groups is composed of kindergarteners and first and second graders that I taught back in the day. I love hearing from these compassionate, caring, literate adults who are contributing positively to society.
    Enough about FB. Next time I’ll share some those things that bring me peace.

Mudita, celebrating joy

9/15/2020

In his book, Think Like a Monk, Jay Shetty talks about Mudita, which is ‘the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others.’ I love this word and this idea. I like to believe that I express joy when someone share a good fortune story with me, but I probably don’t give it the time or attention it needs. Someone tells me something wonderful that has happened, I respond with mudita, but quickly change the subject to a topic where I can express compassion (sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others). Tell me your sad story; let us spend time on that. Let me be sorrowful with you; let express empathy.
But why not empathy for your joy? Empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, can be applied to the full array of human feelings. It’s not that I don’t give it for joyful happenings, but I don’t give it much time.

Prayer for Democracy, covid, teachers and fire

9/11/2020

Silence, solitude and simplicity! I thought I had it under control. After all, until nine months ago, that’s how I lived, free from stressful or anxious situations. Although silence solitude, and simplicity remains in my being, I have to keep working on them more intentionally than ever. I am reminded of this each morning as I write out my daily Top Ten Prayer List, which used to be comprised exclusively of individual names. Now, however, DEMOCRACY, COVID, TEACHERS, AND FIRE take up four of those slots.

If you have been following this blog for a while you may be surprised that I mention my Top Ten Prayer, because over the years I have intentionally stayed clear of mentioning my faith. But this morning as I started writing about the challenge it is to live into silence, solitude and simplicity during these extraordinary times, I felt compelled to share that prayer is one way I stay free of stress and anxiety.

Meditating on Iona

9/8/2020

Sitting in the yard the day after Labor Day; the leaves have a tinge of red; birds gather at the feeder; a chipmunk scutters two inches from my feet; the sun cuts through the maple tree. I am very grateful for this time and place of solitude. Some call it luck; I call it grace.

This is where I’ve chosen to meditate. There is a soft breeze; my body feels the soft sea air of Iona My mind isn’t cluttered with thoughts, nor is it blank. Rather it has created a collage of Iona memories--every day, every kind of weather, every trip, every moment I am there. This is as close to being there as I could hope for or imagine. It is enough. Some call it luck; I call it grace.