A Cottage by the Sea - On My Mind

Give Coursera a try

9/25/2020

I have become aware of the myriad ways that my friends are leading their lives during the pandemic. There is a similarity to our individual journeys—after all, we have much in common and our core-values are similar-- but we differ in the kind and amount of silence, solitude and simplicity in our lives--some is by choice, some by necessity.  For several of us, a full schedule and active life is what we have chosen and been given; for others, a quieter, simpler way of being. Regardless, there are two (I’m sure there are more) givens that run our lives these days: the pandemic and our deep desire for peace and well-being for everyone-- self, family, friends…humankind.
      I have chosen a path of silence, solitude and simplicity, at least in contrast to a busy, busy, busy existence of others. The news is pretty much turned off; I’m hearing less both audibly and mentally. I have, however, tuned into one of the many free on-line courses that are available. Currently I am listening and watching the Age of Cathedrals, by Yale professor, Howard Bloch.  I don’t have to zoom, interact, write a paper, although that could be an option.
      (A friend told me about www.corsera.org and I found it from there. Corsera will connect you with all kinds of courses from many universities.)

Another hiatus from the news

9/20/2020

Here’s a simple, and yet difficult way to keep simplicity in your life. Don’t turn on the news; don’t open the newspaper! When I do so, I have more time to follow the things that bring me peace.
     I know, I know, from time to time I tell you about taking another hiatus from the news. Let’s see how long I can keep this renewed habit going. Not to worry. I have enough contact out there in the world to keep me informed; my husband will shout out breaking news and a Face Book friend will post a headline.
      There is a great deal of buzz about FB. I’m not going to get into the politics/negativity of it all, but I want to mention one of its positive benefits. For me it is a way that I keep up with groups of friends: elementary and high school friends, family, church, teachers, to name a few. Some friends are part of my current everyday life, others are from the past Either way, I love keeping connected.
     One of my most rewarding groups is composed of kindergarteners and first and second graders that I taught back in the day. I love hearing from these compassionate, caring, literate adults who are contributing positively to society.
    Enough about FB. Next time I’ll share some those things that bring me peace.

Mudita, celebrating joy

9/15/2020

In his book, Think Like a Monk, Jay Shetty talks about Mudita, which is ‘the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others.’ I love this word and this idea. I like to believe that I express joy when someone share a good fortune story with me, but I probably don’t give it the time or attention it needs. Someone tells me something wonderful that has happened, I respond with mudita, but quickly change the subject to a topic where I can express compassion (sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others). Tell me your sad story; let us spend time on that. Let me be sorrowful with you; let express empathy.
But why not empathy for your joy? Empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, can be applied to the full array of human feelings. It’s not that I don’t give it for joyful happenings, but I don’t give it much time.

Prayer for Democracy, covid, teachers and fire

9/11/2020

Silence, solitude and simplicity! I thought I had it under control. After all, until nine months ago, that’s how I lived, free from stressful or anxious situations. Although silence solitude, and simplicity remains in my being, I have to keep working on them more intentionally than ever. I am reminded of this each morning as I write out my daily Top Ten Prayer List, which used to be comprised exclusively of individual names. Now, however, DEMOCRACY, COVID, TEACHERS, AND FIRE take up four of those slots.

If you have been following this blog for a while you may be surprised that I mention my Top Ten Prayer, because over the years I have intentionally stayed clear of mentioning my faith. But this morning as I started writing about the challenge it is to live into silence, solitude and simplicity during these extraordinary times, I felt compelled to share that prayer is one way I stay free of stress and anxiety.

Meditating on Iona

9/8/2020

Sitting in the yard the day after Labor Day; the leaves have a tinge of red; birds gather at the feeder; a chipmunk scutters two inches from my feet; the sun cuts through the maple tree. I am very grateful for this time and place of solitude. Some call it luck; I call it grace.

This is where I’ve chosen to meditate. There is a soft breeze; my body feels the soft sea air of Iona My mind isn’t cluttered with thoughts, nor is it blank. Rather it has created a collage of Iona memories--every day, every kind of weather, every trip, every moment I am there. This is as close to being there as I could hope for or imagine. It is enough. Some call it luck; I call it grace.

Joyful learning essential in pandemic times

9/5/2020

On this pristine early September day memories of the start of school are not far from me. I loved putting the finishing touches on my classroom before the kids arrived after Labor Day.
      I wonder what it would it be like to create a virtual kindergarten to support the social, emotional and intellect growth of five year olds today? I believe I could manage the literacy piece, and probably the math one, but creating a community of caring learners would be a challenge. We learn to share, help, and be kind when we interact face-to-face with others. We learn not to bully when we observe the body language of another and hear how he or she feels.  This is the way we all learn, whether we are children, grownups, or yes, even retired teachers like myself.
       But wait, like all the hardworking teachers out there right now (and I’m talking Saturday), I would grab the challenge. Teachers have the qualities it takes to make learning happen. They are caring, creative, smart, flexible, hard-working, determined, and dedicated to make learning happen for all children.
       So, I say to teachers, I have your back. To parents, I ask that you support and affirm what you child’s teacher is doing to make learning happen.
      Years ago I wrote Joyful Learning in Kindergarten. From the bottom of my heart I believe that in these pandemic times learning can still be joyful. It will happen because children, teachers, and parents join together with that common goal.

Simple garbage pickup

8/27/2020

I’m so excited. Today is our first day of garbage pickup. No more going to the dump. This morning I pushed two cans, one with recyclables and one with garbage, to the end of the driveway. When I hear the big truck come along and dump, I’ll wheel them back to the garage. I’m excited because at our age, and with my husband’s back hurting, we need certain help that we didn’t always not to need. Things we took in stride, now take too many strides. I’m also grateful that we can afford this service that our town doesn’t provide.

What does garbage pick verse going to the dump have to do with silence, solitude, and simplicity? it is much simpler to organize the trash during the week, and certainly easier to drag the cans to the end of the driveway than load everything in the car and distribute it to the many (15?) recycle stations at the dump. Most of all it is about time—time to be silent and solitary.

"Just throw it on the grill!"

8/21/2020

“Just throw it on the grill!” * If you are in charge of meals at your house, you know where that comes from—from the person not in charge of meals. Yes, most likely the man in the house. It goes something like this. He suggests, usually last minute, that we invite someone over for supper on a beautiful evening. She, grocery shopper, sous-chef, waitress, and dishwasher, takes a deep breath and says she doesn’t have the time. It is then that He offers to help: No problem, we’ll just “throw it on the grill.” In an instant He become Chef.

What is it that gets thrown on the grill? A piece of meat that can be thrown directly from the butcher’s wrapping. The rest of the meal, the sides, are not thrown, they are prepared.
Roasted potatoes is a great side if you are ‘throwing it on the grill’ because once prepared, they can roast away in the oven for hours.
No matter how I cook them, everyone raves and there are
never any leftovers (which would be a waste because reheated they lose their yummy taste and texture). I’m always told that they taste the same, but as you can see, there is a great deal of flexibility in preparation. Once you get the gist, you can let go of the recipe.
So here it is:
Gram’s Roasted Potatoes

I usually use Yukon, but any kind will do
Peel and cube
Mix with olive oil and salt. I use a Pyrex baking dish, which I have sprayed with Pam.

4. Bake anywhere from 350 to 450, depending on how fast you want them to be ready. If I have plenty of time, I start with a low temperature and turn the oven up to speed things along and brown them up. The  hotter the oven, the crisper the potatoes.
5 .Stir every 20 minutes until done. How long? An hour or so, depending how high you set the oven and how crisp you like them,
6. Sometimes I add a finely chopped small onion the first time I stir the potatoes.
* The title for the book of family recipes that  my daughter is  creating for her kids

Name all your feelings

8/16/2020

These days much is being written about how isolation, loneliness, purposeless and malaise are defining people. I understand that and don’t refute it. Could it be, however, that those of us who committed ourselves to living in silence, solitude, and simplicity before the pandemic are a finding certain freedom from such ‘negative’ moods?
     Having actively embraced silence, solitude and simplicity for the past eleven years, I find that the flow of my interior life continues to be peaceful, abundant, and fruitful. During those five winters (2009-2014) at the cottage, I did the hard work of being alone. At the time, it didn’t seem like a big decision to spend the weekdays there by myself, but clearly it was. I cherished that time by myself, doing what I wanted and not doing what I didn’t want to do. I was on my own, by choice. Most of the time I was peaceful and contented, but sometimes I felt isolated, lonely, purposeless, and melancholic.
       Somewhat unwittingly, however, I had put myself in the inevitable situation where I would feel out of sorts, lonely, enervated, bored, and purposeless. I must have known that I needed to experience those feelings, and so when they came up, I sat with them until something moved within me and I accepted them as friends and necessary to balance the positive, optimistic disposition I was born with. I embraced the “big idea” that deep contentment comes when I am honest with myself.
     The current pandemic is offering each of us permission to name our full array of feelings--from joy and gratitude to fear to despair. We are learning that we are not alone, not a bad people, not failures, nor do we need to keep up the façade that we are perfect. In being honest with ourselves we can be more honest with our friends. Honesty isn’t about good or bad; it is about truth and being fully human.

No stories to tell

8/1/2020

Five months into the pandemic and only a vague end in sight. Four months ago I would have been in Italy; five months ago I had cancelled the trip. Why do I even mention this to you? Undoubtedly you have a similar story to tell. But that’s the point. Because of the pandemic we all have fewer stories to tell. The telling thing is that nothing worth happening is happening.
    That’s not completely true, but we do have fewer adventures to share. How many people do you know who are off to Disney World? Whatever adventure we do have is always couched in a pandemic setting.
    Friends still care about each other, but email contact, telephone check in, and getting together face-to-face has becomes less frequent. For those of us who love silence, solitude and simplicity, we can easily adjust. I, for one, like having a quieter schedule, but that may also be because I am well into retirement age.
     Among other things, I am filling the  void with reading, contemplation, listening to opera. And, when I contact someone, it is very special.