Secrets of an Old Lady

All is well

11/3/2019

Well, this old woman is still up and about, too busy to post. Busy filling a dumpster in case my husband and I feel old enough to move. Busy with our kids and grandkids who helped out with the purging, and, with leave raking. Busy visiting the old people at church (well, older than I am). Busy reading. Busy being.
That all sound like I’m not old, because physically I am young. I forget a few names here and there, but my mind is still functioning. However, I don’t seem to be planning for the future in ways that I used to. I’m content just being.
I don’t talk about my faith much in this blog, but I am grateful for it. I am not fearful of what lies ahead, nor anxious about the present. All is well.

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Mentally and physical fit for solo travel

9/24/2019

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Maybe one of the results of traveling alone is that I realize that in many ways I am not an old woman, and that I can’t pull the age card other than to keep my shoes on at Logan security. I’m not trying to deny my age, but traveling alone keeps me aware of what I can and cannot do. No question, if you want to travel solo you have to be mentally and physically independent.
     Mentally I can take care of money, manage the bus system, get to and fro on time, and stand in long lines and walk miles at Rome’s Fiumicino International Airport (where no one takes their shoes off). To travel solo internationally you must be able to manage an airport from start to finish.
     Physically I have incredible stamina. It’s a gene thing. I had practice throughout my childhood as I worked hard to keep up with my grandmother as we walked down 5th Avenue in NYC. She set off at a vicious pace, and I notice I am keeping up the tradition. My mom, who lived to be 101, took a daily walk up until the last nine months of her life.
     Yesterday, according to my phone app, I walked 7 miles, took 17,959 steps, and climbed the equivalent of 33 floors. This was my Duomo climbing day, thus the 33 floors; but the miles and steps are pretty accurate for all my solo travel days.

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Playing the age card--keeping my shoes on

9/11/2019

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I am at Logan Airport waiting for my Alitalia flight to Rome. Yes, it is 9/11 but Terminal E is busy with international travelers. This old woman doesn’t worry about the date, nor does she worry about traveling alone. I’m healthy, ready to walk all over Rome, and can’t wait to sip my first cappuccino.
When I went through security I played the age card when asked two different times to take off my shoes. It seems that no one believes that anyone over 75 could or would hide something dangerous in their shoes.
FYI, CNN is Logan Airport’s news station of choice.

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Compassion never leaves us

8/10/2019

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Old women have compassion for those suffering. Is that a secret? Probably not. I don’t want to say that feelings are more intense as we get older, but they come with a history. When I see the children suffering at our border or in Mississippi I think of my teaching days when a little girl cried missing her mom on the first day of kindergarten, or when a six year old screamed and hid under a table when he heard thunder. The good news is compassion doesn’t leave us as we get older. At least while we are ‘in our right mind.’ Maybe compassion is a good indicator of that.

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Thank you, Judy Kugel

7/12/2019

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Judy Kugel, friend of mine, writes a blog entitled “The Something-80 Blog.” For ten years it was called “The Something-70 Blog” but then she had that next decade birthday. Every other day she posts something that creates a record of what is happening and how she is feeling during these later years of her life.
When I read today’s post I knew I wanted to share it as one of those old woman secrets that we all know. Thank you Judy.
ttps://www.70-something.com/

How Healthy Do You Feel?
Posted: 11 Jul 2019 02:47 AM PDT
Next Avenue is a digital platform produced by PBS. Simply put, it is a website that produces excellent articles aimed at baby boomers.
A story last week, The Surprising Way Older Adults Describe Their Health reported that most older people feel healthy more often than we think they do, even though about 60% of them have two or more chronic illnesses.
In the 2017 National Health Interview Survey, 82% of adults ages 65 to 74 described their health as excellent. So did 73% of adults 75 or older.
Younger people have different assumptions about their health. They believe that their health should be perfect so anything less is bad.
For baby boomers and those even older, resilience, gratitude and realistic expectations all play roles in how we feel about how we feel.
Like so many things in life, it’s all about expectations.

You can get on the Next Avenue mailing list here. https://www.nextavenue.org/newsletter/

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No beach reading for me

7/2/2019

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Elder Chicks, http://www.elderchicks.com, “a blog for women age 70 or better,” has posed its July topic: July: Beach Time Means Beach Books. Readers are asked to share what summer reading is like for them. Is it the same/different as the rest of the year? What are you reading?
Here’s my response.

Reading is the same for me not matter what the season, except that in the summer I can sit outside. The term “Beach reading” doesn’t resonate with me; by any definition, I am not a beach reader. I’ve never gone to the beach to read, not do I long for ‘beach’ type books. I read whatever I want—serious, frivolous and everything in between. During the school year when I was teaching I had less/NO time to read for pleasure. Retirement, however, changes that, and with it came a wider array of books. .
Currently I have four books going. For easy pleasure I’m reading the fifth Maggie Hope Mystery, The Queens Accomplice, by Susan Elia Macneal. Then there is The Overstory, by Richard Powers, a combination of fiction and non-fiction that I’m enjoying as I read each section and then sitting with it—not a fast read. Next is Puccini, A Biography, by Howard Greenfelt; my plan is to listen to each opera as I read about it. Finally, I’m going paragraph by paragraph through The Muller Report, albeit, one or two pages a day.

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Princes Street Gardens secret

6/16/2019

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I’m in Edinburgh for seven days, by myself of course--my favorite way of traveling. My secret, as I sit writing in the Princes Street Gardens, is that this trip will never end.
I know it is not just an old woman’s secret that something good will go on and on and on. Throughout my life there have been times when I’ve wished that whatever was happening at the moment would continue and continue and continue. It’s a wish for all times and all ages that we know can never be fulfilled. Let’s call it a secret to share that expresses deep contentment.

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No new friends~

6/11/2019

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I’m fully aware that one old woman’s secret may not be shared with all her contemporaries. But I also know that there must be a few out there who are in agreement with some of my secrets.
     How about this one? I do not want to make new friends!
     I have a lot of friends, in fact, I have enough friends; I don’t need any more. But this is more of an age thing. I don’t want to share my life story with a new acquaintance, nor do I want to hear theirs. I don’t want the responsibility of a new friend. I don’t want is to listen or be listened to, regardless of who’s droning on.
     I know I sound negative, but that’s the way we old women sort out what we want and don’t want during our waning years. At least I am aware that I would be as boring as the one listening to me. Lucky for me, I love silence, solitude and simplicity.

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Who is old? What is old?

5/12/2019

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I visit several people who are in their 90s. Old people, I call them. Sometimes I refer to them as my older friends. Both are true, but I have to laugh at myself for not putting myself in the category of old. When I’m with young people, I am old. When I am with older people, I am young. One could say that it’s all relative, and sometimes it is. But the truth is that anyone reaching toward her 80th birthday is old, even people like me who feel and look young!

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Clear the calendar

5/7/2019

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I took a three mile walk today. Because I have the stamina, my thoughts, as a soon to be octogenarian, drifted from my body to my emotional status.
Here’s what popped into my head: I want fewer calendar obligations. For example, I promised to help greet and bring brownies to the church concert on Saturday. No big deal; my choice. And yet, this little ‘have-to’ feels bulky. Definitely an age thing.
As an old woman I’m thinking that I’ll be careful next time I say yes. Hmm, will I play the age card? Can I? Dare I? Need I?
Maybe just say, “No.” Maybe just don’t volunteer. Clear the calendar!

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Author

I am a 78 year old white, educated, privileged woman, in excellent health, with a wonderful family. I go to church and travel by myself to Italy and Scotland. That’s my public vita, my public persona. But that’s not all who I am. I have secrets, secrets of an old woman. So let me say some more.
     I’m old. Not in the usual physical ways of a person age 78, but I’m old in years, and that very fact guides the sense of meaning that I feel and experience in my life. Put succinctly, more and more my age is becoming the filter through which I lead my life.
     I’ve had a rich life, with caring parents, a loving husband of 54 years, two wonderful children, and four amazing grandchildren. My teaching career was rewarding; I published six books for teachers describing my experiences as a kindergarten and first grade teacher. When I retired I earned a divinity degree and became the spiritual care counselor for a local hospice.
    I ask myself if now I am really retired. Well, yes and no. Yes, in that I have more free and unscheduled time to satisfy my longing for silence, solitude and simplicity, which I blog about in this blog-- www.acottagebythesea.net, and more time to attend to my spiritual life, which I blog about in www.aprayerdiary.net. I have more time to spend with family and friends, help at church, read for pleasure, write, and travel,. My old woman secret is that I am still searching for meaning and the search is intense and life supporting.

All is well

Mentally and physical fit for solo travel

Playing the age card--keeping my shoes on

Compassion never leaves us

Thank you, Judy Kugel

No beach reading for me

Princes Street Gardens secret

No new friends~

Who is old? What is old?

Clear the calendar

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