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Princes Street Gardens secret

6/16/2019

I’m in Edinburgh for seven days, by myself of course--my favorite way of traveling. My secret, as I sit writing in the Princes Street Gardens, is that this trip will never end.
I know it is not just an old woman’s secret that something good will go on and on and on. Throughout my life there have been times when I’ve wished that whatever was happening at the moment would continue and continue and continue. It’s a wish for all times and all ages that we know can never be fulfilled. Let’s call it a secret to share that expresses deep contentment.

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No new friends~

6/11/2019

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I’m fully aware that one old woman’s secret may not be shared with all her contemporaries. But I also know that there must be a few out there who are in agreement with some of my secrets.
     How about this one? I do not want to make new friends!
     I have a lot of friends, in fact, I have enough friends; I don’t need any more. But this is more of an age thing. I don’t want to share my life story with a new acquaintance, nor do I want to hear theirs. I don’t want the responsibility of a new friend. I don’t want is to listen or be listened to, regardless of who’s droning on.
     I know I sound negative, but that’s the way we old women sort out what we want and don’t want during our waning years. At least I am aware that I would be as boring as the one listening to me. Lucky for me, I love silence, solitude and simplicity.

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I am a 78 year old white, educated, privileged woman, in excellent health, with a wonderful family. I go to church and travel by myself to Italy and Scotland. That’s my public vita, my public persona. But that’s not all who I am. I have secrets, secrets of an old woman. So let me say some more.
     I’m old. Not in the usual physical ways of a person age 78, but I’m old in years, and that very fact guides the sense of meaning that I feel and experience in my life. Put succinctly, more and more my age is becoming the filter through which I lead my life.
     I’ve had a rich life, with caring parents, a loving husband of 54 years, two wonderful children, and four amazing grandchildren. My teaching career was rewarding; I published six books for teachers describing my experiences as a kindergarten and first grade teacher. When I retired I earned a divinity degree and became the spiritual care counselor for a local hospice.
    I ask myself if now I am really retired. Well, yes and no. Yes, in that I have more free and unscheduled time to satisfy my longing for silence, solitude and simplicity, which I blog about in this blog-- www.acottagebythesea.net, and more time to attend to my spiritual life, which I blog about in www.aprayerdiary.net. I have more time to spend with family and friends, help at church, read for pleasure, write, and travel,. My old woman secret is that I am still searching for meaning and the search is intense and life supporting.

Princes Street Gardens secret

No new friends~

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