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All old women want a peaceful death~

9/28/2022

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Those of you who check “Secrets of an Old Woman” are aware that I don’t post very often. Oh, it’s not that I don’t have any old women secrets, but what I want to share is often more universal to silence, solitude and simplicity than to the uniqueness of my age (82). I’m also aware that because of the grace of good health, I just don’t have many secrets about my health. In fact my secrets are basic to yours, all of which take up more of our thought time as we get older: that I won’t get ill, feel awful, be in intense pain, have to make major medical decisions, and be a burden to others. But that isn’t a secret, is it? Everyone, as they reach adulthood, thinks about how it all will end. It just becomes more persistent and intense as we get older. 
    My mother lived to be 101; she died peacefully without physical or emotional pain. She was in excellent health but during the last year of her life her body faded away. My dad, on the other hand, died at age 80 of prostate cancer. He was ready to let go of the pain, but he also was at peace. 
    How can I be so certain that my parents died in peace? I know because their Christian faith was strong. They lived trying their best ‘to love their neighbor’—which meant to love everyone, and to be of service of others. 
    So, here’s my secret. To try to be as faithful as they were; to love and serve.

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Old women ask, "Where is the meaning?"

5/22/2020

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​How are we old women doing during this pandemic time? Because it varies with individual circumstances, I  write from my particular vantage point, hopeful that what I observe and experience resonates with others. We have completed our life work-- career, parenting, hobbies, travel, volunteer work. This involvement may continue, but as specific projects dwindle, what remains is a deep desire to satisfy that human longing to create meaning. We’ve been doing that our entire lives but now we know and have come to believe that it is the only thing worth living for.
     Most of the old women with whom I am in contact have food, clothing, and shelter; some are more isolated than others. Everyone is focused on taking precautions to be safe, but some feel that the only purpose right now is to hold it all together. That doesn’t satisfy them. “Where is the meaning?
    The one who ask this question are on her way to discovering the answer for herself. For us old women it does take much—a wave to a stranger, a telephone call, a prayer. The more isolate one is, the greater the need to reach out or be reached.

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    Author

       I am a 78 year old white, educated, privileged woman, in excellent health, with a wonderful family. I go to church and travel by myself to Italy and Scotland. That’s my public vita, my public persona. But that’s not all who I am. I have secrets, secrets of an old woman. So let me say some more.
         I’m old. Not in the usual physical ways of a person age 78, but I’m old in years, and that very fact guides the sense of meaning that I feel and experience in my life. Put succinctly, more and more my age is becoming the filter through which I lead my life.
         I’ve had a rich life, with caring parents, a loving husband of 54 years, two wonderful children, and four amazing grandchildren. My teaching career was rewarding; I published six books for teachers describing my experiences as a kindergarten and first grade teacher. When I retired I earned a divinity degree and became the spiritual care counselor for a local hospice.
        I ask myself if now I am really retired. Well, yes and no. Yes, in that I have more free and unscheduled time to satisfy my longing for silence, solitude and simplicity, which I blog about in this blog-- www.acottagebythesea.net, and more time to attend to my spiritual life, which I blog about in www.aprayerdiary.net. I have more time to spend with family and friends, help at church, read for pleasure, write, and travel,. My old woman secret is that I am still searching for meaning and the search is intense and life supporting.

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