This from Raven’s Bread, a newsletter for people who appreciate solitude.
Serious Lock Down Advice: Please be careful because people are going crazy. I was just discussing this with the microwave and the toaster while drinking my tea, and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn’t mention this to the washing machine because she puts a different spin on EVERYTHING!! Certainly couldn’t share with the fridge ‘cause he’s been cold and distant. In the end, the iron straight- ened me out. She said the situation isn’t all that pressing and all the wrinkles will soon get ironed out. The vacuum, however, was very unsympathetic...told me to just suck it up. But the fan was VERY optimistic, giving me hope that it will blow over soon. The toilet looked a bit flushed but said nothing. I asked its opinion but the front door said goodbye 2020. I was becom- ing unhinged and the doorknob told me to get a grip. You can just about guess what the curtains told me: they said to “pull myself together.” We will survive.